An Absence of Self or How I Happily Drowned My Eyes

Self-imposed separation
should be simpler
and make slipping into sleep
easier for tired eyes,
but there are still tears
welling because of the aquifer
behind my eyes.

I didn’t cry as much as I wished.
I hazard a guess your tears to mine
were two to one
but I don’t have time to weep in any case.

I must find her, that silver coin I lost,
And when I see her again I will say
I wrote a little song for you
With a melody I’d borrowed
put to words that didn’t rhyme
to repeat what you already knew*
because I’m predictable
and you know the words I say
before I say them.
I’m glad to see you again
for the last few months
the only me I’ve known
is the me without you
and I haven’t loved me as I should.
You are me more than I am myself
and if you’re scared of striking allusions
to Catherine and Heathcliff
you have no need to worry
because we only have the better part
of their character.

My God, I miss her and want her back,
but every separation that we weep our way through
makes me even more convinced that the end
will be more beautiful than the way that we began.



*From “In A Market Dimly Lit” by mewithoutYou